On A Mother Note…10 Lessons from 2015

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2015 has by far been one of the most challenging and rewarding, growth-filling, love-filled, change-filled years of my life. As I look back at all the things I have learned the lessons I have learned as a mother are the most important and meaningful ones. They’re also the lessons that are the domino effect to the over all happiness that exists in our home. Happy mom= happy child. Happy wife=happy life. I seriously believe these things because I have experienced them to be true.

So here are my top 10 lessons on mom life of 2015:

  1. Laugh at Yourself: IMG_7592This is me totally defeated by my toddler who did not nap that day, had been going strong from 6:45am on, was hard core teething and fussy and was recovering from being sick to boot. I think at this point I was thinking “I have to jump up again and run into the other room…what is she doing in there? Why won’t my body move?” This was just seconds of thought and then I of course did run into the other room only to catch her running back into this room. At this point I wondered if it was 10pm but then realized it was only 4:30 and I better go get her dinner ready (which will probably all end up on the floor I feel like I just cleaned up from lunch). At this moment I realized I just needed to LAUGH. Laugh at the day, laugh at what felt a little “crazy” and laugh at myself for trying so hard all day and nothing was going right. Laugh at the fact that everything was actually out of my control that day mostly because of a little thing called “teething.” Laugh and except defeat!
  2. Trust Your Gut: People always talk about a mother’s intuition and until I became a mother I always considered it made sense but now I know it’s 100% real. I can FEEL when my daughter wakes up before she even lets out a whimper. I can FEEL when she is hungry and understand that cry as totally different to another type of cry. I can FEEL when she’s over tired and needs to just go to sleep (despite her best efforts not to). I can feel all these things but what I have learned is in the really tough moments like when she’s sick or not sleeping or crying like crazy and won’t eat and we’re both over-tired zombie parents: this is the moment I have to trust my gut. In the beginning of my motherhood journey I was so nervous to do the right thing all the time that I often second guessed my gut feeling. Sometimes I even listened to other people over what my gut feeling was telling me to do. In the end almost always, my gut was right. So now, in those crazy tough moments, I try really hard to let go, breathe, listen to my gut and just try that solution. My husband at this point even says “what’s your gut tell you?” and then urges me to choose that. Part of trusting your gut is like all things with parenthood- you may be wrong but you also may be right. You just have to try it out.
  3. Redefine Your Expectations of Yourself: I have struggled with having extremely high expectations for myself all my life but when I became a mother they went on overload, super-charge, ridiculous speed. As a stay at home mother and wife of a surgeon who for the first year of our daughter’s life was finishing his training, my days consisted of trying to pretty much do it all and take the best care of my two people as possible. Now, there is nothing wrong with that but if you add unreal expectations to it then it’s a hot mess. Not so much on the outside, I don’t think anyone would have said “oh wow that Sarah, she’s a mess.” Nope it’s all on the inside. It’s the place inside all of us where we take ourselves, hang ourselves up, put our boxing gloves on and start beating the shit out of ourselves. It’s that place in our mind that goes over and over all the things we did and checks off mental to-do-lists all day long only to realize it didn’t all get done and what does that mean? Yep- failure. Okay so after realizing that I was never feeling good about all the things I DID accomplish everyday I had to work at trying to redefine my expectations. For example: Today I expect to feed my daughter, change her, dress her, play with her, teach her, help her take a nap (repeat feeding, changing, teaching, playing). I also expect to get through the day’s laundry, dishes, light house cleaning and make dinner for me and my husband. I do NOT expect that I will be able to wash my hair today and I do NOT expect to get longer than a 90 second shower while watching our daughter. I do NOT expect to get through all my emails or calls. I do NOT expect to have time to pick up the dry cleaning or go to store to buy flowers (I would really love to have some flowers for the weekend). I do NOT expect to be able to stay awake through a movie I attempt to watch with my husband tonight. If any of the things I don’t expect to get done happen- I will be THRILLED but if they don’t well- I didn’t expect them to anyway. I now feel pretty good about what I can get done in a day and also okay when I just can’t. Important note: teething or an illness can potentially throw off the entire list of things I can try to get done and that has to be okay too. Throw the punching bag away you are doing GREAT mamas!
  4. Except The Mom Body That is Now Your Body: So whether you had vaginal birth or a C-section (like me) there’s all sorts of “left over” weird body stuff that goes on far after you have your baby. I still can’t really feel the area across my C-Section scar. It’s kind of creepy. Sometimes I have the strangest little twinges of pain or a feeling of my lower stomach muscles not being fused together (it’s hard to explain). I’ll be doing something totally normal like picking up my baby and there’s the weird feeling out of no where. It’s weird but it’s also my body reminding me that I gave birth to this amazing little person and I just kind of smile about it.  Other things that go on are more on the outside like for example the change in your boobs. Everyone is different but almost all the moms I know have something to say about their post breast feeding/pumping boobs. They’re just a little different. Mine are smaller (which I’m okay with) and other friends of mine feel like theirs are saggier. Well duh! Think about what those boobs went through? Jeez sometimes when I was pumping and crying through the pain of it I actually felt so sad for my boobs- what will become of them after this torture?! Oh and will I put them through it again one day? (Yeah probably it’s worth it. Sorry boobs). Then there’s just the over all slightly different body that you have now that you’re a mom. Some people say their hips are wider or their chest is thicker or their tummy skin is saggy. Some people are heavier or thinner than before. Either way it’s hard when your pre-pregnancy clothes fit weird (or not at all) and when you look in the mirror kind of confused like “who are you?” Well we all have it to some degree post baby and I think it’s important for your daily happiness to just except that this “mom bod” is pretty and it’s special and it’s a warrior princess and to just CHOOSE to like it. Also if you like it, the other people in your world will too. Also try to not listen to the outside comments because a lot of people don’t think before they speak. For me, I’m about 8 lbs thinner than when I got pregnant. I’m just thinner. Everything is smaller (boobs included) and also slightly different. My hips are a little different than before and some other things too. It’s okay it’s just what it is but then someone will say something and I can only hear a negative comment and I kind of just want to say “who gave you permission to comment on my post-baby body? Perhaps I should comment on your post-November body?” But instead…I just let it go and try to like my new mom body. This body did an amazing thing for goodness sake! It made a human!
  5. Ask For What You Need: Okay this one is huge it’s also one of the hardest things for me (and many other women I know). The partner in your home does not know how to read your mind. I know it sucks but it’s the truth. So, mama’s out there guess what? When you’re sleep deprived for like 14 months and tapped out emotionally because you’ve been thinking of someone else’s needs 24/7 above all else and trying with all your might to meet said needs, trying to keep an infant/baby/toddler alive all day and still manage a household well… your partner does NOT know that you want them to say “honey, I want to take you out on a date. You need a night off! Let’s get a baby sitter and go have a romantic and fun night together!” Nope. They don’t know. So, even though it may be annoying to HAVE to tell your partner this is what you need/want (because why don’t they just realize it on their own?! Ugh so frustrating!) TELL THEM! Tell them what you need! Tell them what you want. Trust me they want to make you happy but sometimes there’s so much going on that even they don’t know you need something. This is not just about going on a date once in a while. It’s also about the daily grind. If you need you partner to help out more around the house you need to TELL THEM! Note: sometimes it helps to be very specific with what you want them to do. Not just “help more” but specifically what: “I would really appreciate it if you could empty the dishwasher if you see it’s done and if you could put the laundry in the dryer if you hear it buzz.” You will be happier and so will you partner if you ask for what you need and in turn, get it. Everyone feels good in this scenario. Don’t be scared to ask for help…it doesn’t mean you can’t do it all it just means you are human.
  6. Accept The In Betweens: There are so many phases we go through as mothers. There’s the first four months of life when you’re basically in a bubble in your house just trying to get your feeding/sleeping schedule on point. Just fighting daily to survive through zero sleep and a healing body, breast feeding issues, feeding, sleeping issues, etc. You’re in a cave for about four months. After that you emerge into the world and then try to learn how to manage normal life “on the outside” with a little person who can’t even hold their own body upright yet and often poops through their diaper and clothing while you are out. Then there’s the awesome zone of being able to go out to lunch while your baby sleeps next to you in the stroller (because you are a master of knowing when to time lunch with nap and deserve a metal). There’s the fun “hey look she’s walking” stage when you can show off your babe’s new skills while still managing to keep them in strollers, high chairs or on your lap. And then there’s the in between…when you are working so hard at a new sleep schedule that it runs your life because in order to train your child’s body you have to be regimented and committed and it WILL trump anything else socially you may want to do. The in between time where your baby isn’t old enough to go to pre-school yet and you have them all day to entertain/teach/take care of. (This of course applies to SAHM’s like me more so). The in between stages are weird because as as SAHM you need socialization too and it’s hard when you’re working on that nap/sleep schedule and end up home doing meals and playtime more than out because it just often works out this way. I have found it to be hard so I have reached out to try to connect with other SAHM’s. I am still working on finding my “people” but I feel good about trying. It’s easy for people to say “go to this play group or music class it’s awesome” and then I realize said class is 25 minutes away and I KNOW my daughter will fall asleep in the car and then the nap schedule I have been working so hard to implement is now thrown out the window. So no, I don’t sign up for that class. It’s just this weird in between time and it’s okay. I urge moms in this space to embrace that it’s not going to be like this very long, and try to savor this time with our babies as we’ll never have it again. There’s beauty in between.
  7. Don’t Compare: One thing that I still can’t believe happens at the level it does is mothers comparing with other mothers. It even happens on the grandma level: “well my grandson is doing xyz already.” “Really? My granddaughter isn’t even close to doing xyz” (insert phone call to daughter “Honey so and so’s grandson is doing xyz do you think it’s normal that your daughter isn’t doing xyz yet? Should we ask the pediatrician?” Note: No mom you have never done this but I know it happens. I do not compare my daughter to your kid. I have chosen to compare my daughter’s development to science and data. I compare her growth to what we know from a medical perspective is “normal.” If your son is walking at 10 months old that’s cool! But it doesn’t mean that my daughter isn’t okay because she’s not walking yet and is 11 months old. Nope. When mom’s try to have that casual “let’s compare notes” conversation I try my best to filter out the judging and the over-all weirdness that is this process. You can’t really get away from it but trust me moms, you’ll be a lot happier (and less worried about stupid things) if you opt out of the comparing. Think about it this way: would you want your baby to compare your mothering to his/her friend’s mothers? Can you even imagine? So not cool right?
  8. SAHM The Work Out: IMG_7694One of the things I get asked a lot is what I do for my work out. I usually laugh because I haven’t set foot in a gym since early in my pregnancy and have only occasionally taken a pilates (my favorite) class post baby. But I’m in pretty good shape and it’s because I have found an awesome new work out…it’s called MOM LIFE! I choose to do as much on foot with my baby as possible. I take her in the stroller to the grocery store and use her stroller as a cart and then walk with her plus groceries home. The stroller weighs enough but with groceries it’s a lot to push (esp up and down big hills) and if you push from your core it’s a great tummy/butt work out. If you walk fast it’s even better! Then there’s weight lifting. My daughter weighs about 22 lbs and I am always picking her up, dancing with her, cooking while holding her and it adds up (the gun show is looking pretty good over here). Then there’s the constant cleaning. I am always running around quickly cleaning up after our daughter and us. I am doing laundry and vacuuming (which can be a nice little work out in itself), I’m up I’m down I’m holding my baby while doing these things. I am in CONSTANT motion! I truly believe I just work out a little bit all day long! That said the biggest thing is the daily walks sometimes it’s one but I try for 2 walks with the baby a day. If I wear her in the baby carrier and go run errands on foot that really get’s my heart rate up and can be a nice adventure too! My almost 17 month old is in constant motion and I am in constant motion running after her. She’s the best trainer ever and she doesn’t charge a thing!
  9. Ignore Judgment: I have written about the judgment I have received about being a stay at home mom a few times. The reason is it’s a constant in my life. I think the reality right now is moms can’t win. If you’re a working mom you’re made to feel bad if you can’t “do it all” and if you’re a stay at home mom you’re made to feel bad because you’re not doing enough (because you should be working). I’m pretty over this. I find myself in social situations all the time where I get a look or an eye roll of judgment about being “just” a stay at home mom. Or someone makes a stupid comment like “what do you do all day?” Or “well that’s easy! Nice.” Or my favorite “Did you used to work?” Um, really? Yeah since I was about 14 years old I worked. Thanks for asking. The best one is when someone doesn’t even say a word but just chooses to gloss right over me because I am now considered to have nothing to offer the conversation. I used to be angery or hurt by these moments because they usually happen in social settings when I am just so excited to be OUT (BECAUSE I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM). They really used to put a damper on my over all enjoyment of those times. Now I just remind myself of who I am and WHY I chose to be a SAHM. I remind myself what I have to offer the conversation (which is a lot) and ignore the ignorant judgmental people trying to rain on my parade! Ignoring judgment is probably the hardest thing to do as a mother because we’re always judging ourselves and worrying if we’re good enough moms all the time anyway but, it must be done. If you’re a working mom or a stay at home mom or any combo of the two try to refrain from judging others who’re doing it differently than you are and try to ignore the judgment when it comes your way. We really need to change the conversation to supporting all moms because we’re all doing hard things the best we can.
  10. More Than Mom: The most recent lesson I have learned and am still very much in the process of learning is that I need to try to feel like more than just a mom. Don’t get me wrong the title of mother, the role of mother is the most important honor, gift, title, job of my entire life. It’s all I ever really wanted to be in life and I take it more seriously than anything else, ever. That said because I am a SAHM and my days and nights consist of mothering or organizing and planning out my mothering. It’s not often I feel like just my husband’s date or just my friend’s friend or my mom’s daughter. I have recently realized I have to plan and make time to do things that make me connect to the former non-mother version of myself. Not because she was better in fact quite the opposite but because it’s important to be reminded of the sum of all your parts. I need to have date nights with my husband. I need to have girls brunches and lunches on occasion. I need to go take a pilates reformer class now and then. I need a mom-daughter day with MY mom just the two of us. I need to spend some time alone once in a while. All of the above are things that occur with out my daughter so in order to experience them I have to plan child care in the form (usually) of my husband or a baby-sitter. More and more I have started to do these things and I think over-all it makes me a happier mom and a more centered and well rounded mom to boot. I want my daughter to get the best version of me possible every day and in order for that to happen, I have to be away from her once in a while. It’s hard not to feel guilty for wanting to be away from her (or needing to be) but I am trying to manage that. 2016 is going to be the year I figure it all out! Ha! Yeah right! Cheers to all you moms out there doing the best you can! Wishing you all a happy New Year filled with LOVE, JOY and LAUGHTER!
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Organizing for Peace

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If you are my mom, this photo is making you cry for the 2nd time. If you’re anyone other than my mom you’re probably wondering what’s going on here? So, this is the beginning of my “organizing for peace” project at home. What you see here are blankets, swaddle blankets, cloth bibs, onesies, baby tights, tiny newborn hats and socks and the sweetest little baby girl dresses I’ve ever seen, all hanging in my laundry room to air dry after their first non-toxic, delicate wash. We’ve been so blessed to have received all these things as gifts as well as some gorgeous hand-me-downs from a dear friend. Our little one is going to be snuggled, swaddled and dressed in some lovely items thanks to the kindness of others. We’re so touched. So, what is this organizing for peace concept and what the hell am I talking about? I’ll explain…

Through out my life I watched my mom organize, plan and multitask like no one I’ve ever seen– with ease. I was always there by her side as her little helper (and later as her actual more capable helper) to assist in whatever she was putting together. My mom organized huge charity galas and philanthropic events, political fundraisers and business events. She organized amazing birthday parties for family and friends, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs for us and even friend’s kids and family holidays. She had dinner parties all the time and with all this always going on, she organized and cooked dinner for our family almost every single night too. I learned from watching the master! Sure, I learned how to put events together, how to party plan well, how to raise money for good causes, how to manage to cook dinner while putting together 5 other things with out getting stressed out. All wonderful lessons but the most important lesson of all- I learned how to celebrate life.

Through all this organizing and multitasking, the underlying theme for every single thing was celebration of something positive. Brining joy into people’s lives through celebration and togetherness and making people happy. This was and IS my mom’s artistic gift. I’ve never met anyone who does it like she does. I feel I too got that gift although I am no where near a master like she is but, it’s kinda…”my thang.” I love getting people together. I love to celebrate life and make a point of letting the happy times shine bright in my life because there are most certainly, so many hard and sad times too.

So here I am, having a baby with the man of my dreams. The happiest time of my life. Not the easiest, but the happiest. We’re now 27 weeks pregnant and we’ve got about 12 weeks until I give birth. I’ve been told by many and I understand why, to have everything I need to have done, done 1 month before I’m supposed to give birth. This is to allow for (God forbid) an early birth taking place or bed rest, etc. So to me this REALLY means I have 8 weeks or so to get to a point where everything is done and I can just focus on resting up for baby girl’s arrival into our world. Now let me just say that my way is not for everyone, just as your way isn’t necessarily for me. This is just my space to share with you what I’m doing and if you find it helpful- then that makes me so happy! If you don’t agree with my style or do not find it helpful then that’s a-okay too! To each his own! There’s NO one size fits all way to do life, pregnancy or motherhood. Can I get a right on???!!! Okay so now that I’ve said THAT…here’s what I’m doing…

Organization = Peacefulness: When something this big, this life changing is about to happen- I want to be as prepared and organized about it as I can. I find this creates a peacefulness within me and thus a peacefulness around me. I believe our home is at peace when I create that peace (not just the candles lit and incense burning kind of peace- although I do that too). I believe my husband feels more relaxed when he gets home to a clean, organized home with a happy and mellow vibe no matter what his day was like. I believe I wake up feeling calm when I have put to rest all things I could the day before to create a new, fresh start to the new day. I also feel calm when I know what I need to do this day and feel I can achieve my goals. Organization is the first step to creating calm. Knowing what I need to do and then calmly, with out stress or sense of urgency, getting it done. It’s not hard to do and it feels quite good.

Make a list: I make a list of all the things I need to do to prepare for baby’s arrival and give myself plenty of time to accomplish this list (factoring in the days I do not feel well because I have many of them). If there are items on the list that require my husband’s involvement I create a separate list for him and clearly outline when I’d love for those things to be done. This makes it easy for him to help me and then he can feel good about creating the peace too!

Thank people in real time: When I get a gift for the baby or for us I add the detail of the gift to my list of thank-you’s and then immediately write that person a thank you note and send it (I’ve opted to go “green” with my thank-you’s and use www.punchbowl.com to send them out. They’re cute, I can get them done fast while doing 8 other things on my computer and people seem to love them.

Create One Registry: I used www.myregistry.com because you can add many different registries to it and combine them (although mine is mostly amazon.com) but your friends and family only have to deal with one link. It’s very user friendly for them. I use this for myself too. I have talked to new moms, read books, blogs, done tons of research all to figure out what we need and want. I added items to my registry that I will go and buy for us in the end if they’re not gifted. This way I have a solid and ongoing list of all the stuff I’ve learned we’d want or need. It keeps me organized and is easy for others who are sweet enough to treat us to things.

Nursery: A work in peaceful progress: As furniture, gifts and what not for the baby’s room and for the baby herself have arrived, I’ve been putting them in her nursery and closing the door. I haven’t really gone in that room until this past weekend, in order to begin my process. First I went through and opened all the things that require cleaning before touching her newborn baby skin. I put them in a laundry bag and set them aside. Then, I moved all the items in boxes that do not need to be dealt with right now against one wall. After that I vacuumed the room, cleaned and disinfected everything (including door knobs and windows, closet rods, etc. I used non-toxic and baby safe cleaning products to do so. After that, I put on a shelf in the closet some items that can be dealt with a little later (once I have a dresser and drawers to put things in, counter top space, etc) or things I don’t want sitting on the floor. This includes mom/dad’s diaper bags (which are so cute and we can’t wait to use)!

nursery boxes in a corner

mom:dad diaper bags in closet

 

 

 

 

 

The nursery chair was delivered already so I cleaned and vacuumed it and then sat and rested for a moment. This was a LOT of work. I spent hours doing all this. When you’re pregnant doing things like this can take a lot out of you. This ONLY reinforces my reasoning to do it NOW and not wait until I’m 8 months and huge and stressing. No thank you!

Stokke high chair box

nursery chair

The high chair we picked out is the Stokke….I put the accessories with it all together and this is one of the “dad to assemble” items that can wait. Other dad to assemble items include the crib and eventually there will be a changing table and dresser. These will all get done by the one month away mark for total peacefulness but are not on the “do right now” list as they don’t involve ME. The things that involve me need to get done sooner than later and while I’m having some feel good get sh-t done days!

Next I took my closet organizers that say 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-9 months, etc. 0-3 months and hangers closetand soft velvet pink baby girl hangers and got the closet set up for clothes. I did 2 loads of laundry using Honest detergent and no dryer sheets (you never know if you’re baby will react to those fibers so it’s best to go with out them). I hung what needed to air dry and otherwise did a low heat, delicate dryer setting for the rest. Then I folded everything that doesn’t have a home yet (because they require drawers) and put them in a large garbage bag. This way, they are clean, folded and ready to be put away when the dresser arrives and is assembled. Easy breezy. The rest, I began to hang up in order of sizing and as we get more things, I will just follow the same program as it comes. I cried only 4 times while folding baby blankets, baby socks, onesies, hanging up little dresses. Thank you pregnancy hormones for always keepin’ it real!!! 🙂 Finishing this nursery set up step felt SO good. I got much accomplished and am excited for next steps!

closet shot 3

closet shot 2

 

 

 

 

 

closet shot 1

closet filling up

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note on our nursery: This room will be a shoe-free-dog-free-sickness-free-stress and drama-free zone. That means, our sweet dog and her hair- not allowed. Take your shoes off before entering. Please don’t come in here if you are fighting or have a cold (in fact don’t come over period no offense). If you are bringing any drama to our life or stress leave it at the door baby. This is the peace-zone and I want our baby to feel it and become it. I think it’s important to set up these concepts before the baby comes and agree with them as a couple because it’s realistic to imagine times where we’ll have to check each other on this or even….stand tall as a couple and just say “no” together, for the sake of our baby. Organizing for peace isn’t just about making lists or cleaning honey…so much more!!!

The Hospital Bag (mine and hers): I haven’t packed these yet. It’s still too early for me. But…it’s on my list and it will be packed before that month away date you betcha! I found this awesome list to help me pack mine and so I thought I’d share it with you!

My Bag:
1. Robe and towels, wash cloths
2. Shampoo, conditioner and soap, skin care products, etc.
3. Toothbrush and tooth paste
4. Make up, hair ties, hair stuff, ect. Don’t forget there will be people coming to visit and you may feel like looking a little nicer. (Or not but nice to have the stuff in case)
5. Pillow and soft and warm blanket
6. Ipod/music for delivery (for us it will be Bob Marley/Reggae mix from our wedding)
7. Sweats/lounge outfit, nursing/sleep bras and underwear
8. Socks and slippers
9. Going home outfit
10. Healthy snacks and water bottles
11. Pads for vaginal bleeding (can occur even w/c-section births so be prepared)
A note of what to grab on the way out:
-Camera
-Cell Phone and charger
-Computer and charger
Baby’s Bag:
1. 4 Receiving blankets
2. 2-3 Soft Blankets
3. Breastfeeding pillow
5.  The diaper bag: Pre-stocked with wipes and diapers of your choice, cream for diaper rash, etc.
6. 3-4 Burp Cloths
7. Breast Pump/nursing pads: The hospital will have both of these, as well, but it is something I would prefer to use my own of.
8. Bottle: Just in case breast feeding as issues you don’t want to be stuck with out getting the baby your milk ASAP
9. Nursing Cream
10. Baby Hat/Beanie: You need to keep the little ones head nice and warm
11. Socks: Also need to keep their little piggies warm!
12: Mittens: To keep them from scratching their poor little faces.
13. Pajamas/clothing: The hospital gives you a white onsies and that is it. So if you want your baby to wear anything else you better bring it!
14. Going home outfit! You know this is going to be photographed right? Right! I can’t wait to pick this out!
Be Ready Then Rest: There is nothing I find wrong with being totally ready, set, put away, cleaned and organized for our daughter’s arrival 4 weeks before she’s supposed to come. If I have learned anything from my pregnancy it’s that the fantasy isn’t always the reality. Just because I WANT to have 12 weeks of being able to put stuff together and get sorted out- doesn’t mean I WILL have that. I don’t feel great, I haven’t and who knows- it could get worse! So to be ready and have an extra 4 weeks to just rest and “be” before she comes…is 100% perfect and CALM to me.
An interesting side note on this entire concept is that being Jewish, there is a very “old school” and superstitious way of looking at this process which I am acutely aware of. This is, not to do anything until the baby is actually born and okay. There are variations on this but the most extreme one is to not bring anything into the home until the baby arrives because God forbid, the baby dies during birth (I know, gasp- hard to even type those words but THIS is where all this came from and I get it- the death of baby and mom was more common way back when and there were reasons for some of these beliefs and practices (but not in today’s world). So to me- the person who celebrates life every chance I get, who desires a totally peaceful, zen-like, calm space for her baby to come home to, who wants the people IN our home to be peaceful too, who believes organization leads to peacefulness….to me- this actually feels toxic, negative and kind of wrong. That’s just ME though- it may feel totally right for YOU! And you know, someday I hope my daughter will get to have a baby and she’ll decide what she wants to do and how she wants it to be done and I will support her choices and do whatever I can do to make her life happier, easier and more peaceful. Isn’t that my job? I’m her mommy. My job starts now and I’m doing all I can in the way I feel is right, to do a good job for her.
Oh, and btw, I am Jewish so yes, I have asked myself…what would I do God forbid something bad were to happen and all this is set up and done? You know, then I’ll deal with it then. But there’s no room in my body for negative thoughts because guess what? I’m growing a human. This little girl is inside me and I believe she gets all the energy good or bad that I give her. Also, thank God so far everything with her has checked out perfectly and so there’s currently no sign to worry about a thing. But do I worry? Sure I do. Just not too much because I also trust in the universe and God and in myself and even, in her, that it’s all going to be okay in the…
beginning.
With love and peacefulness I’m signing off to go organize a dinner while I clean the house because we’ve got new friends coming over and I think it’s time to celebrate some life!!!