Ain’t Nothin’ But a G-Thang….Baby….

Ya, no- not THAT kind of G- Thang….this kind….


It’s not all old skool gangsta rap and 40’s up in this house. But, it IS about the G’s now.

A little back story on why this is more insane than I can wrap my head around:

I was the very late bloomer kid who didn’t get her period until she was 16 or boobs until she was 18-19! Yes, that’s right….18-19. I was a dancer and for a while there, a model as well so it worked out okay for those things to have no breasts and still not look like a woman. However, it did not work well in my “real life.” No sir. I was teased about being flat chested in middle and high school and I knew none of the boys liked me and thought NEVER would because I had no boobs. My friends all developed quite early only adding to the obviousness of my “situation.” I cried often about this, I prayed for breasts. Shoot- I even prayed for my period! (What was I thinking)?!?! But by the end of high school- the boobs hadn’t arrived and I had learned to accept my flat chest, embrace it and just hope to find a guy someday who cared more about my eyes or my smile or maybe my long legs than my small rack. Or even my brain, soul and spirit?

Right around my freshman year in college I went from an A cup to a C cup out of no where and thought it was pretty cool but no longer needed any of that for self esteem (thank God). In time I went from a C to a D and eventually by the time I got pregnant I was steadily a 34D. My breasts were the first thing to grow in pregnancy and new bras were in order pretty soon thereafter. I have blogged about trying to save your boobs during the pregnancy process. I’ve talked about the cream I’m addicted to, Mama Mio’s Boob Tube and discussed needing new bras, sleep bras, etc. But it wasn’t until last week that “getting a new bra” took on a life of it’s own.

My “new bras” from a couple months ago were being busted out of so, I thought I’d pop into Victoria Secret for a one cup size up option. After dealing with the salesgirl for way too long who seemed just baffled by my request, I asked for someone else- perhaps a bra specialist? Did that exist at the Seattle Victoria Secret downtown? Why yes, it did. So the nice lady, Hannah, took me into the back dressing room area to measure me. The dressing rooms were all filled so she opted for me to leave my tank top on and measure me right there in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the back room changing area. Important note: Hannah was wearing a head set. She was often answering calls and even clicking her headset on and off while measuring me. Finally she stopped and said, “Yeah that’s what I thought.” “What?” I asked. As she gave me the gesture as to say “hold on, I’m getting a call” and clicked her headset to listen to something, she then clicked back and said to me….ON SPEAKER SO EVERYONE COULD HEAR… “Yeaaaaaah….so, you’ve sized out of our store.” Everyone stopped and looked to see the FREAK! She then quickly said, “Oops! Sorry about that. ” And clicked off her mic. I stood there mortified while she then gave me a list of 3 names at Nordstrom in the bra section to ask for. She said they carry very large sizes and should be able to assist me with my “special needs.” Oh my God seriously? Okay so I’m a special needs bra size now? How on earth did this happen? (Flashes of crying myself to sleep at age 13 after being teased by the boys for being flat as a pancake and praying for boobs jumped through my brain).

Off I go to Nordstrom with my special needs boobs. I was able to get measured and fit (in private, in a dressing room like a normal human being) with out the detail of my situation being blasted on a microphone for all to hear. The kind lady assured me a) they have plenty of bra options for me b) I should buy one with a tiny bit of room for more growth in the next month or two c) my breasts will grow much more when the milk comes in for nursing d) they carry bras through size K so I shouldn’t be worried about the future of my bra needs through pregnancy and nursing. K? Wait- so what size am I right now then? I was a 34DDD a couple months ago?


G is for good God woman your boobs are out of frickin’ control right now!

G is for these girls need to stop growing because I will not be oKay in a K!

I bought a strapless bra (featured above), a black lace one and a nude bra. They fit perfectly, feel wonderful, support my special needs and make me look better in clothes than I was looking in my DDD’s. All I can say is this is ironic on some other level to me, the girl who cried for boobs and didn’t believe my mom when she assured me some day I would have them. Perhaps I prayed just a little too hard? Either way…I’m adding 3x a day to my Boob Tube application and trying to mentally prepare for more growth. My husband has decided my current theme song is the one featured above and now refers to the girls as “The G’s.” Let’s keep it G-rated for a while okay boob fairy?

P.S. To the idiots who teased me all those years- ain’t nothin’ but a G- thang!  I hope somewhere along the road you realized that a woman’s value is not in her chest, but in who she is as a person. (Sorry I had to go there).

P.P.S. Will my daughter be a late bloomer as well? Probably. I hope so. Sound weird for me to hope so? Well, I had to develop my character and really push to like myself and learn who I was because I didn’t have boobs and because I wasn’t popular with the boys.  By the time I got them, they didn’t matter because I didn’t need them to feel worthy.




Saving Your Boobs

mama-mio-boob-tubeDo you like your boobs? Do you even I don’t know, kind of love your boobs? Are you terrified they will get stretch marks and drop down to the floor and flatten like pancakes from pregnancy and nursing? Are your boobs killing you because you are somewhere between 4-12 weeks pregnant? Have your boobs gone up an entire cup size or more over night because you’re 4-12 weeks pregnant? Are you loosing sleep because your boobs hurt so much that they actually wake you up/keep you up at night? When you wake up in the morning do you have to hold your breasts up because they drop like painful Playboy sized weights the moment you get out of bed? Has your partner forgotten where your eyes are located while talking to you since you found out you were pregnant?

If you answered YES to any or all of these questions chances are you are 4-12 weeks pregnant and you are desperate to save your boobs!

This was me but I have found some solace and I want to share my boob saving tips with you!

The Cream: Featured above is Mama Mio’s Boob Tube. It’s worth every penny and a little goes a long way (even if you’re boobs are larger than life right now). I researched this to death and discovered this amazing cream. I use it 2x a day and I noticed a change after the first day of using it! I now swear by it. If you tell me you just found out you’re pregnant I’m going to tell you to run don’t walk to your computer, order this cream and start using it right away!

The Sleep Bra: It’s extremely difficult to be in the very early weeks of pregnancy. You may be one of the lucky ones and feel amazing but most of us aren’t so lucky. You might be bogged down with morning (or all day) sickness, headaches and serious fatigue. So on top of all that, not being able to sleep through the night because your boobs hurt too much is just that- too much! For me, this was off the charts painful and I was feeling pretty horrible anyway. I tried sleeping in my bras, sleeping in my sports bras, sleeping in different positions. Nothing helped and in fact the bras and sports bras made it worse and were so uncomfortable to sleep in. This is when I did my research and discovered this magical thing called a sleeping and nursing bra. Note: Even though you’re not in need of nursing bras at this early stage, they are the best to sleep in and you can kill two birds with one stone by buying them now as you’ll need them later anyway! I bought 10 different sleep/nursing bras and finally found my favorite one (I returned the others. I love This is the one I adore but you might need to do a trial and error test for yourself. Each woman’s needs, sizing and pain level is different. The great thing about these bras is you can totally wear them during the day as well or if you’re just lounging (or let’s be honest, if you’re just hanging over the toilet with your buddy morning sickness) these bras are super comfortable and supportive for that too!

The Bigger Bra: There will come a point in your first few weeks of pregnancy where you will no longer be able to fit your new boobs into your old bra. Try and try as you might, there’s a moment where you realize those beautiful bras are going to get put into the back of the undies drawer not to be seen for many months. Since I had my sleep bra situation handled I felt like I could get away with only buying 1-2 new bras. I often roll out in my sleep bra because it’s so comfy and I live in a pretty casual city. But, there are times when I need under wire and a thinner bra strap so for those times, I decided not to give up beauty (at least not just yet). I’ve been wearing Victoria Secret bras for a while and I know which styles I like so I went online, found a bra sale and just went up a cup size in the bras I already love to wear. This proved to be a great way to ease into the next phase of boob growth and pregnancy. I think a woman can still look sexy in her underwear even if she’s got morning sickness, headaches, is exhausted and her boobs are killing her. I mean my goodness, something’s gotta give right? As it turns out my hubby thought my new VS bras were really pretty but when I told him my new cup size…his mouth dropped and he said “we’re running out of letters.” What? They don’t make a DDDD??? Shoot!

So, ladies I say go to the bras you already love, make it easy on yourself and just start jumping up. If you’re a D go DD, a DD go DDD and I am not going to jump into the next letter (for as long as I can wait it out in D’s)….but that’s just me!

Your Partner: You might look like you’ve had a boob job and are the new Playboy Playmate of the year to your partner but, what he doesn’t know is that those new sexy busting boobs of yours HURT SO MUCH! You almost want to say “look don’t touch!” But that’s no fun right? So, I suggest being really honest with your partner about how you’re feeling. If you don’t, he may grab you or hug you super tight and then feel terrible for accidentally hurting you when he was probably trying to make you feel good. Communication is key in everything including pregnancy boob awareness month(s)! Let your partner know when you’re having a good boob day, when you’re in agony and can’t be touched and when to be gentle and aware but still close to you. You’re carrying their baby, the last thing they want to do is hurt you. So, speak up and also come on…let them enjoy winning the boob lottery. Even if they were great to begin with…this is a whole new level!!!