I Have A Daughter

I have a daughter.

She’s f-cking amazing. She’s not even six months old but she’s f-cking amazing.

I am terrified that she will not have rights to health care that will make her feel like a safe woman. I am terrified that she is coming up in our country with a major group of people trying to rob those basic, human, legal rights from her. I am worried that because of this men who are bullies will feel empowered by our government. I am worried that because of this people will stop caring about our girls. I am worried about the power of the Republican Party for this reason. (I am sorry Republican friends I still love and accept you but your party as a whole is very extreme on this issue now and so I will not stop worrying unless you start changing).

I am worried but more so…

Society currently scares me. I have a girl.

Society is obsessed with being thin. Being “hot” having big boobs, having perfect skin, having a perfect ass…a flat stomach, being super-fit, being “perfect”? WHAT IS PERFECT? Last I checked that was pretty subjective. It doesn’t matter though because my daughter is growing up around superficial obsession. It scares me. And it should scare you too. (In my opinion)…

WE NEED TO BE THE CHANGE: Everything you say and do- she hears and takes to heart. So change it! Start the change in her house…one by one we can make things better, girl by girl…

-Do not talk negatively about your body around your daughter. STOP IT!

-Do not diet or talk about dieting in front of your daughter (just show her moderation, healthy eating and exercising habits).

-Practice positive reinforcement about her body “look how strong you are” “look how good you are at doing that” etc. Also you and your partner should talk about each other in that way in front of her.

-Tell your daughter she is beautiful. DO NOT OVER CORRECT ON THIS ISSUE- SHE NEEDS TO BE TOLD SHE’S BEAUTIFUL, SPECIAL, SMART, CREATIVE, THOUGHTFUL, INSIGHTFUL, COURAGEOUS, FUNNY, COMPASSIONATE…from you. It’s never too early to start this. I do it now. It’s been part of the song I made up to put her to sleep. It calms her and she totally listens. “I love you Aviva, yes I do, I love you Aviva..yes, it’s true…I love your nose, I love your toes…I love your eyes, I love your smile. I love your laugh, I love your heart, I love your thoughts, I love your soul. I love your insides, I love your outsides, I love your everything…yes I do… ”

So while we work on all of the above we need to try to also combat the issues with in us that make us feel shitty and keep us from being an awesome mom-woman-example to our daughters.

Some thoughts on this from a new mom who’s postpartum and still wants to party life up, but has had a LOT goin’ on…

HERE’S THE POSTPARTUM SUCKS PARTY…

  1. THESE ARE NOT MY BOOBS!!!! (Yeah dude…these are your boobs. check yourself before you reck yourself…these…your post nursing boobs…are YOUR NEW BOOBS! (Hello 32D good-bye 34G) and then it’ll hit you how MUCH MORE AWESOME THESE NEW BOOBS ARE! You don’t have to put them in 3 bras…and a work out bra. Nope! They’re cool on their own. Remember that from, before you were pregnant? I know it seems like forever but yeah…So much easier and way more fun!
  2. MOM NEEDS LOVE TOO! Okay so you’ve had your baby and you’ve been living for, breathing for, dealing for this person 100% since they arrived. It’s the best thing ever ever ever but it also zaps you of “you” so let your partner step up and give you some love…go get a Mani Pedi, blow out, massage, go out with a friend…let the person who doesn’t take care of this baby full time step up for a couple hours and give you some “you time.” P.S. This is not gender specific…if you’re a stay at home dad this pertains to you…. if you’re in a same sex relationship-this pertains to you! This means the full time person needs/gets to have a break. The whole fam will be better for it, trust. 😉
  3. USE YOUR TIME WISELY… so the baby is taking a nap? Here’s what that looks like (and this grants you freedom post bed-time to: have dinner/take a shower or bath/ take a breathe/ have a cocktail/ really shave and put lotion on/lay down/sleeeeeeep, HAVE SEX!!!!)

-Do laundry (or start it at least- you can always finish it after they go to sleep)

-Make or organize dinner

-Do dishes, bottles, etc. organize feedings for when they wake up

-If you’re on formula- pre-make it and make bottles for next 20 hours or so

-Clean house/clean yourself!

You get me- get as much done while they nap as you can so that when they go to bed at night you can try to have a life. Even if that means curled up under a blanket in your PJ’s watching TV. Just do what you can do to set up some chill out time each day. This will make you feel human.

  1. TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED! You and your partner need to communicate. There are so many more new things to be on top of now.  You need to check each other about what needs to be done and when. You have to be each other’s checks and balance system.
  2. LET IT OUT: Find a way that’s healthy to let your emotions, frustration out. If you need to dance intensely (what?) around the living room and then stay up way too late writing, to alleviate stress- do it. (Not that I know from that I’m just saying…as an example)… Play drums? Ride a bike? Surf? Meditate? Whatever it is- do it. Let it out or it’ll come off on your kid, or partner and no one wants that in the world. We need to practice maximizing love export/import.
  3. EMBRACE YOUR POSTPARTUM BODY: If you are a stay at home mom like me chances are you are CONSTANTLY moving: you’re bouncing him/her, burping him/her, dancing, moving and grooving, holding, rocking, multi-tasking all the time…you do not stop. Okay so you probably lost weight this way- but if you didn’t it’s also because you’re still nursing (mine ended 8 weeks post) or for the sheer fact that every single body is different. This includes the body you started out with and the body you now have several months after giving birth. This is mine. I took this in the bathroom mirror at 3am. This is me 5m postpartum. It’s not my best photo. I didn’t try to make it look good (I even have a line from my sweats on my stomach, my hair is up still wet because I didn’t have time to tend to it today, I’ve had a whole day of eating and what not….this is just REAL). This body has had nothing but hard times with nursing, had to stop after 8 weeks, had a c-section, had retained placenta and a D&C to remove it at 7 weeks postpartum. I look at my “new and temporary” body and think:

 

-My breasts don’t fill out my bra the way they used to, but they still look good naked and I’m feeling lucky about them because they fed my baby and gave her my immunity. (Give yourself props for things- it’s okay to say- hey- I LIKE THIS- MY BODY DID GOOD)! Society teaches us to hate ourselves but that’s not okay- this is an activity of love….go take a postpartum selfie and try to like some things you see!!!

-I look at my c-section scar (not featured as it’s too low) and I just feel so grateful to have been able to give birth to my daughter. I’m in awe of her daily and to me, she’s a dream come true and a miracle all in one. I look at my scar and just feel love for her and proud of my body.

So let your postpartum body make you feel good! You gave birth to a human, you did that with your body- YOU ROCK! I am in awe of what my body went through and amazed by how it’s thriving even though I don’t have much time for it these days and with all honesty, have NOT made getting toned back up a priority. My daughter is. All day. That’s just me. Luckily I kind of work out all day while I take care of her because I just do it that way. 😉 I’m getting back to pilates and that’s a gift my husband is giving me in that he’ll be the child care for an hour on the weekend while I go love on my body a bit. This is ALL about me feeling good and not at all about looking a certain way. I feel better when I got to pilates classes- end of story. The focus here is on how I FEEL.

-Get it on. You need to let your postpartum body be sexual no matter what it looks like. You are now a MILF- OWN IT! Feel so sexy because of what that body did! If it feels or looks weird don’t sweat it! It’s so hot to your partner because if you feel empowered about it- they will in turn connect with that and focus on how sexy it is that you’re their baby’s mom. Oh my gosh seriously- it’s the sexiest thing! Don’t knock it till you try it!!! 😉

I have a daughter…..I will do everything in my power to keep her safe, teach her right from wrong and support her to be whomever she feels she is. So that’s #7. Treat your child the way you wish life treated you. This includes trying to protect her rights as a woman- that is part of keeping our daughters safe and treating them how we would want to be treated (with respect and as equal humans to men). This is the best party you can create: An everyday celebration of your child…Show then how you celebrate yourself and they’ll learn to do the same and not hate themselves.

This is all a huge gift…mommy. Enjoy it. Party on!

XO- The f-cking proudest mom ever baby….

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Everything Under The Sun: This is a long one…

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I blame this blog on my hormones! I can’t pick one thing to write about so I’m going to write about everything! Which actually seems about right because at the moment and lately, I am all over the place with emotions and thoughts. I’m feeling everything under the sun as they say. (I wish it was sunny right now, ah, Seattle)…I digress. Okay so get ready this blog is going to get a little crazy! I’m going to give it to you straight and I’m going to tell it like it is. If you’re pregnant I say grab a snack and curl up honey, it’s about to get REAL here….

“How are you feeling?” This is the sweetest question and at times the most frustrating. Why? If you’re like me and you are having a rough pregnancy and not feeling well most of the time then answering this thoughtful question only forces you to talk about how not great you’re feeling. That said, it’s unavoidable and is always coming from a caring place no matter who’s asking. At almost 26 weeks pregnant, I’m a little sick of my answers as they’re often the same. Sometimes I just want to lie and say “great.” Mostly because I wish that could be my real answer. It’s not though. I have a headache every single day still. Sometimes it goes away, sometimes it morphs into a migraine. I’m also always exhausted and sometimes light headed or dizzy. Sometimes my stomach is a mess. Sometimes all of the above at the same time. How am I feeling? I’m feeling like I can’t remember what feeling amazing feels like. But, I know I will feel that way again.

The one thing that makes even the yuckiest day feel better? Feeling my baby girl moving inside me. She moves ALL the time now. She kicks, stretches, twists, turns. I don’t know what she’s up to in there but I feel her all the time and I LOVE it! I just revel in her movements daily (and nightly because she really gets going when it’s time to go to sleep- which of course then keeps me up).

Making this little girl makes every day I don’t feel well worth it and I’d do it again in a heart beat just so I can hear hers. Truest thing I can say. I can feel her inside me and I just hold those moments of serenity and peace, happiness and the purest joy one can feel. I hold them very tight and I say “thank you.” I couldn’t feel more blessed or grateful if I tried.

That doesn’t mean I’m all zen all the time over here though. Nope, not exactly….

“Out of respect for my decisions as a mother, please keep your opinions to yourself. You do things your way and I’ll do things my way. “ This is what I’d like to say to everyone who seems to have an opinion about how I should do things with my pregnancy, my birth and my newborn care. It seems everyone has an opinion these days and feels like it’s their duty to share it with you. It began the first time I got a pedicure when I was only 9 weeks pregnant. The nail tech doing my toes had a boat load to tell me about what I should and shouldn’t do while pregnant. She asked me questions about how I was going to do certain things when I gave birth and with newborn care. Oh my God lady really?  Now, this doesn’t mean that when I ASK someone I think is an amazing mother for advice on things that I don’t want to hear what she has to say. I DO! That’s why I’m ASKING!!!! It’s all the unsolicited chatter that’s both annoying and hard to tune out. These days everyone has an opinion and seems to want you to know it. Here is my take….

I have always wanted to be a mother. I’ve been studying moms for years- watching, learning, making mental notes about what I do or do not want to do when (if lucky enough) it’s my turn. I’ve read all the books I think important on pregnancy and newborn/childcare, I’m taking classes to get certified in infant CPR and newborn safety. I won’t let anyone be alone with my baby unless he/she is also certified in these courses because that’s my choice as a mother. I don’t take Tylenol for my daily headaches because that’s my choice as a mother. I don’t drink ANY alcohol while pregnant because that’s my choice as a mother. I eat insanely healthy making my fetus’ nutrition requirements in the womb my #1 food decision making factor and only occasionally go nuts on a food craving because that’s my choice as a mother. I’ve decided my baby will go right into her crib and not have to re-adjust to a crib after finally adjusting to a basinet, because that’s my choice as a mother. I will breastfeed. I will swaddle my baby, wear my baby and treat my newborn as if she’s still in the womb for the first 3-4 months of her life because that’s what I think based on all I have learned, is best for her. P.S. check out “The Happiest Baby on the Block” for more on this concept- I totally dig it. The list goes on but it’s my list because these are my choices as a mother. I own them. They belong to me. I didn’t make them lightly.

I will love her and care for her with all my heart, with all my might, with every once of everything I have inside me just like I’m trying to do now, because she’s my child. I am her mother. This is the most important thing I’ve ever done in my entire life so please, R.E.S.P.E.C.T me. Unless I ask you for advice, in which case bring it baby because if I’m asking you that means I truly value what you have to say. Oh and women who feel compelled to tell us pregnant ladies about horrific miscarriage/childbirth or death stories? Really? Keep it to yourself. Not cool. We’re worried enough as first time moms to be as-it-is! Can I get an amen?!?!?

“What’s Your Birth Plan?” Why is my birth plan your business? Why is my birth plan up for judgment? What if my birth plan isn’t at all what I’d want it to be because maybe, it’s not something I have the luxury to “plan” at all?! Perhaps this is personal and maybe not the grocery store clerk, hair dresser, society or anyone’s else’s business except for me and my husband? Perhaps. Although it certainly doesn’t seem that way. Since the beginning of my pregnancy I’ve been asked this question. I feel like there’s a lot of “chatter” going on in society these days around natural birth, using midwives vs doctors or being in water vs in a hospital. I’m all for au natural routes, trust me but I also value the medical field and I believe that OB’s are with us for a reason. Thank God for them. Seriously. So why am I so annoyed by this question? What’s the big deal? The big deal (to me) is:

#1 I would love to have natural childbirth with out an epidural, totally drug free and I would say bring on the labor pain baby let’s do this. I would LOVE to have that “birth plan.”

#2 I have to have a C-Section birth. I have no choice in the matter. I have had 4 opinions from OB’s/surgeons, etc. based on a medical circumstance I can do nothing about.

3# I’m 26 weeks pregnant and I still am working hard at making peace with my situation. This is not what I would want but I also have no choice. It’s too dangerous for me to have natural childbirth and could put me at risk of not being able to have another child- end-of-story.

What do people say when I tell them I have to have a C-Section birth?

“Oh my God WHY???”

“WHY would you want that???”

“Are you SURE you have to???”

“I’m SO sorry.”

“That’s SO not you! Really?”

I’ll wrap this up with my thoughts on all this. It’s pretty simple. If you’re wondering what someone’s birth plan is, make sure you’re asking with out judgment and with care because not everyone get’s to pick their birth plan and even if they do, it doesn’t always mean it’ll go that way. There are many births that start out natural and end up with C-Sections (1 out of 3 babies is born in the US via cesarean section) . There are also many women like myself who don’t have a choice in the matter. Don’t make us feel terrible about it. It’s not really kind. Be gentle with us pregnant ladies….we’re making life, we’re making a million small and large decisions every day about and for that life… it’s delicate and often private.

My take away on my childbirth situation? There’s not much I can control about it and that is very hard for me so I’m taking control of what I can:

– We will have Bob Marley playing during the entire thing so that the soundtrack to our wedding is also the sound track to our baby’s birth. (We had a Bob Marley cover bad at our wedding). (Note: we listen to a lot of reggae and she ALWAYS goes nuts in my tummy when we do and when her daddy dances around the house with me. So, it seems like she’d probably opt for this as well if I could ask her).

-I will be in the room with my husband. He’ll be the one right next to me holding my hand, looking in my eyes while our trusted doctor does what she needs to do. (I am often asked if my husband will watch the surgery since he’s a surgeon himself- no sir, he’ll be up by me, with me and we both trust our doctor enough to handle this beautifully no matter what comes her way).

-I will hold my baby as soon as humanly possible and show her more love than I can put into words.

That’s my plan. 🙂

Now for some much needed HUMOR….
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This is how I feel at least once a week these days. (If I’m really honest it’s probably more like 3-4x a week). My hormones are out of frickin’ control! I want to beat the sh-t out of them (and I’m not a violent person). I want to say “Hey! Hormones! Get outa my way I’m trying to be zen here!” Instead they have a tendency to just run over me like a train and leave me limp on the tracks not knowing what hit me. These pregnancy hormones are killer. They make you cry, they make you have anxiety, they magnify anything good or bad. Nothing really helps them except for time. In time, they pass. I don’t think there’s anything that can be said about this except- it’s hard. It sucks to feel taken over by some crazy force of nature and feel out of control of your emotions. It’s extra tough when it happens right before you have to be somewhere or right before your husband has to leave the house or right before you have to go to bed (because then you just- C-A-N-T go to bed). All I can say is this- try to breathe, this too shall pass and there’s always light at the end of the hormone tunnel of darkness and doom.

***Shout out to my amazing husband- you f-cking rock my world and deserve a metal for your awesomeness in calming me down, knowing just want to say, how to deal with my hormones and most important- for knowing how to turn it into laughter in the end. God you’re the best.

And for my last vent of the blog…the pregnancy bathing suit situation….

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“Can’t you just wear your old bikini bottoms with a bigger top?”- My husband

Mmmm, no. Not exactly. But I kind of love you more for thinking that I could. So, yes…I’m hunting for bathing suits and will be rocking them during the end of my pregnancy. Which means- even bigger boobs and a bigger belly! Maternity swimwear leaves a lot to be desired. I bought one little (okay fine not so little) black bikini and wore it twice at 23 weeks pregnant (below). Everything is even bigger now and I’ve got to buy a new suit just 3 weeks later! 1920170_10152216357264086_3737433014049087833_n

So I decided to do something I have never done…try on one pieces. Now, before you get all weird about this let me explain- I have TRIED to buy one pieces over the years, however I’m so short waisted that they are almost always ill fitting and thus I have never actually bought or worn one. I ordered a bunch of one pieces online (I highly recommend online shopping vs normal shopping while pregnant- it allows you to take bathroom breaks when you need to, take a break from trying things on when you feel you’ve had enough and it’s much easier on your ego in the privacy of your own home, with your own mirrors). As it turns out…my thought that my baby bump would somehow fill out the “extra” length in the one pieces that my torso is lacking was 100% wrong. Nope, same issues when pregnant. So, it looks like I will be that girl by the pool or at the beach in a bikini. Not because I’m trying to gross you out but because I’m too damn short waisted to rock a one piece. I apologize in advance. Feel free to look away.

Finding the right bikini isn’t so easy. I’m wearing a 34G bra but my bottom size isn’t that different than it was before so everything that fits the top is enormous on the bottom (nothing like a saggy bikini bottom, ew gross)! In the end I’m probably going to have to invest in 2 bathing suits and combine them to get one that fits. Also a quick note on why I can’t wear my old bikini bottoms like my hubby thinks I can…(bless his heart)…

#1 Brazilian cuts=not okay with a baby bump

#2 The bump shifts the way everything fits even bikini bottoms so I end up looking like I’m not wearing much on the bottom at all and that Brazilian cut quickly becomes a thong! Yikes!

So for all you mamas to be out there- if I can let my bump run free you can too! Come on join me and let’s wear our bumps out proudly this summer! Okay fine, join me so I’m not the only one!!!!

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed my hormonally charged blog. If you’re still reading this, you deserve a cupcake!

peanutbuttercupcakesmmmmmmmm……..

 

 

 

Ain’t Nothin’ But a G-Thang….Baby….

Ya, no- not THAT kind of G- Thang….this kind….

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It’s not all old skool gangsta rap and 40’s up in this house. But, it IS about the G’s now.

A little back story on why this is more insane than I can wrap my head around:

I was the very late bloomer kid who didn’t get her period until she was 16 or boobs until she was 18-19! Yes, that’s right….18-19. I was a dancer and for a while there, a model as well so it worked out okay for those things to have no breasts and still not look like a woman. However, it did not work well in my “real life.” No sir. I was teased about being flat chested in middle and high school and I knew none of the boys liked me and thought NEVER would because I had no boobs. My friends all developed quite early only adding to the obviousness of my “situation.” I cried often about this, I prayed for breasts. Shoot- I even prayed for my period! (What was I thinking)?!?! But by the end of high school- the boobs hadn’t arrived and I had learned to accept my flat chest, embrace it and just hope to find a guy someday who cared more about my eyes or my smile or maybe my long legs than my small rack. Or even my brain, soul and spirit?

Right around my freshman year in college I went from an A cup to a C cup out of no where and thought it was pretty cool but no longer needed any of that for self esteem (thank God). In time I went from a C to a D and eventually by the time I got pregnant I was steadily a 34D. My breasts were the first thing to grow in pregnancy and new bras were in order pretty soon thereafter. I have blogged about trying to save your boobs during the pregnancy process. I’ve talked about the cream I’m addicted to, Mama Mio’s Boob Tube and discussed needing new bras, sleep bras, etc. But it wasn’t until last week that “getting a new bra” took on a life of it’s own.

My “new bras” from a couple months ago were being busted out of so, I thought I’d pop into Victoria Secret for a one cup size up option. After dealing with the salesgirl for way too long who seemed just baffled by my request, I asked for someone else- perhaps a bra specialist? Did that exist at the Seattle Victoria Secret downtown? Why yes, it did. So the nice lady, Hannah, took me into the back dressing room area to measure me. The dressing rooms were all filled so she opted for me to leave my tank top on and measure me right there in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the back room changing area. Important note: Hannah was wearing a head set. She was often answering calls and even clicking her headset on and off while measuring me. Finally she stopped and said, “Yeah that’s what I thought.” “What?” I asked. As she gave me the gesture as to say “hold on, I’m getting a call” and clicked her headset to listen to something, she then clicked back and said to me….ON SPEAKER SO EVERYONE COULD HEAR… “Yeaaaaaah….so, you’ve sized out of our store.” Everyone stopped and looked to see the FREAK! She then quickly said, “Oops! Sorry about that. ” And clicked off her mic. I stood there mortified while she then gave me a list of 3 names at Nordstrom in the bra section to ask for. She said they carry very large sizes and should be able to assist me with my “special needs.” Oh my God seriously? Okay so I’m a special needs bra size now? How on earth did this happen? (Flashes of crying myself to sleep at age 13 after being teased by the boys for being flat as a pancake and praying for boobs jumped through my brain).

Off I go to Nordstrom with my special needs boobs. I was able to get measured and fit (in private, in a dressing room like a normal human being) with out the detail of my situation being blasted on a microphone for all to hear. The kind lady assured me a) they have plenty of bra options for me b) I should buy one with a tiny bit of room for more growth in the next month or two c) my breasts will grow much more when the milk comes in for nursing d) they carry bras through size K so I shouldn’t be worried about the future of my bra needs through pregnancy and nursing. K? Wait- so what size am I right now then? I was a 34DDD a couple months ago?

34G.

G is for good God woman your boobs are out of frickin’ control right now!

G is for these girls need to stop growing because I will not be oKay in a K!

I bought a strapless bra (featured above), a black lace one and a nude bra. They fit perfectly, feel wonderful, support my special needs and make me look better in clothes than I was looking in my DDD’s. All I can say is this is ironic on some other level to me, the girl who cried for boobs and didn’t believe my mom when she assured me some day I would have them. Perhaps I prayed just a little too hard? Either way…I’m adding 3x a day to my Boob Tube application and trying to mentally prepare for more growth. My husband has decided my current theme song is the one featured above and now refers to the girls as “The G’s.” Let’s keep it G-rated for a while okay boob fairy?

P.S. To the idiots who teased me all those years- ain’t nothin’ but a G- thang!  I hope somewhere along the road you realized that a woman’s value is not in her chest, but in who she is as a person. (Sorry I had to go there).

P.P.S. Will my daughter be a late bloomer as well? Probably. I hope so. Sound weird for me to hope so? Well, I had to develop my character and really push to like myself and learn who I was because I didn’t have boobs and because I wasn’t popular with the boys.  By the time I got them, they didn’t matter because I didn’t need them to feel worthy.

 

 

 

Saving Your Boobs

mama-mio-boob-tubeDo you like your boobs? Do you even I don’t know, kind of love your boobs? Are you terrified they will get stretch marks and drop down to the floor and flatten like pancakes from pregnancy and nursing? Are your boobs killing you because you are somewhere between 4-12 weeks pregnant? Have your boobs gone up an entire cup size or more over night because you’re 4-12 weeks pregnant? Are you loosing sleep because your boobs hurt so much that they actually wake you up/keep you up at night? When you wake up in the morning do you have to hold your breasts up because they drop like painful Playboy sized weights the moment you get out of bed? Has your partner forgotten where your eyes are located while talking to you since you found out you were pregnant?

If you answered YES to any or all of these questions chances are you are 4-12 weeks pregnant and you are desperate to save your boobs!

This was me but I have found some solace and I want to share my boob saving tips with you!

The Cream: Featured above is Mama Mio’s Boob Tube. It’s worth every penny and a little goes a long way (even if you’re boobs are larger than life right now). I researched this to death and discovered this amazing cream. I use it 2x a day and I noticed a change after the first day of using it! I now swear by it. If you tell me you just found out you’re pregnant I’m going to tell you to run don’t walk to your computer, order this cream and start using it right away!

The Sleep Bra: It’s extremely difficult to be in the very early weeks of pregnancy. You may be one of the lucky ones and feel amazing but most of us aren’t so lucky. You might be bogged down with morning (or all day) sickness, headaches and serious fatigue. So on top of all that, not being able to sleep through the night because your boobs hurt too much is just that- too much! For me, this was off the charts painful and I was feeling pretty horrible anyway. I tried sleeping in my bras, sleeping in my sports bras, sleeping in different positions. Nothing helped and in fact the bras and sports bras made it worse and were so uncomfortable to sleep in. This is when I did my research and discovered this magical thing called a sleeping and nursing bra. Note: Even though you’re not in need of nursing bras at this early stage, they are the best to sleep in and you can kill two birds with one stone by buying them now as you’ll need them later anyway! I bought 10 different sleep/nursing bras and finally found my favorite one (I returned the others. I love Amazon.com). This is the one I adore but you might need to do a trial and error test for yourself. Each woman’s needs, sizing and pain level is different. The great thing about these bras is you can totally wear them during the day as well or if you’re just lounging (or let’s be honest, if you’re just hanging over the toilet with your buddy morning sickness) these bras are super comfortable and supportive for that too!

The Bigger Bra: There will come a point in your first few weeks of pregnancy where you will no longer be able to fit your new boobs into your old bra. Try and try as you might, there’s a moment where you realize those beautiful bras are going to get put into the back of the undies drawer not to be seen for many months. Since I had my sleep bra situation handled I felt like I could get away with only buying 1-2 new bras. I often roll out in my sleep bra because it’s so comfy and I live in a pretty casual city. But, there are times when I need under wire and a thinner bra strap so for those times, I decided not to give up beauty (at least not just yet). I’ve been wearing Victoria Secret bras for a while and I know which styles I like so I went online, found a bra sale and just went up a cup size in the bras I already love to wear. This proved to be a great way to ease into the next phase of boob growth and pregnancy. I think a woman can still look sexy in her underwear even if she’s got morning sickness, headaches, is exhausted and her boobs are killing her. I mean my goodness, something’s gotta give right? As it turns out my hubby thought my new VS bras were really pretty but when I told him my new cup size…his mouth dropped and he said “we’re running out of letters.” What? They don’t make a DDDD??? Shoot!

So, ladies I say go to the bras you already love, make it easy on yourself and just start jumping up. If you’re a D go DD, a DD go DDD and I am not going to jump into the next letter (for as long as I can wait it out in D’s)….but that’s just me!

Your Partner: You might look like you’ve had a boob job and are the new Playboy Playmate of the year to your partner but, what he doesn’t know is that those new sexy busting boobs of yours HURT SO MUCH! You almost want to say “look don’t touch!” But that’s no fun right? So, I suggest being really honest with your partner about how you’re feeling. If you don’t, he may grab you or hug you super tight and then feel terrible for accidentally hurting you when he was probably trying to make you feel good. Communication is key in everything including pregnancy boob awareness month(s)! Let your partner know when you’re having a good boob day, when you’re in agony and can’t be touched and when to be gentle and aware but still close to you. You’re carrying their baby, the last thing they want to do is hurt you. So, speak up and also come on…let them enjoy winning the boob lottery. Even if they were great to begin with…this is a whole new level!!!