The Happy Choice: A Letter to my Husband

After my conversation with my husband this morning I was compelled to document what to me, is such an important moment in our lives. So here it is. An open letter to my husband:

Dear Sol,

Thank you for choosing happiness.

It is a choice, as you so clearly stated this morning to me. We live, as you said “in a consumer society” and it’s VERY easy to be sucked into that. What that means is that it’s SO easy to get something you want but immediately think about the next thing you “think” you should want. Like if you got the job of a lifetime or had a healthy and happy baby one would be programmed by society to think- I need this home or this car/jewelry/toy. Instead of just taking the time to be happy and enjoy the things you currently have or have been given our society has programmed us to move on to the BBD (bigger better deal).

Some people are pre-programmed not to be happy. I actually think a lot of people fall into this category and it’s really tough to enjoy the moments of “happy” when they  happen or even to recognize them. “You wake up happy”- you tell me this all the time. Maybe I wake up slightly more pre-programmed to be happy than you (yeah I do) but it’s still a choice I have to make every day. It’s so easy to be bogged down by silly and meaningless things but yes for me, it comes easily. For you, it’s harder and this is why I’m writing this letter. I’m making it “open” so that hopefully it’ll hit home for others too.

This morning you told me how you are choosing to be happy with what we have even though we don’t have all that maybe we could want for. I am too. This morning you told me how much you love and appreciate all I do for you and for our family. Thank you. This morning you soaked in our 19 month old baby girl who is happy, healthy and thriving and enjoyed her to the fullest. I loved watching it. You also dealt with some stuff like you do everyday with work that was both good and bad. We talked about choices we are currently thinking of making and we did a bunch of the mundane things parents and people have to do each day. But today….

Today you told me how happy you are and how you have decided to focus on choosing happiness and not worrying about the stuff society wants you to feel. You told me you are going to be present in the goodness of what we have and not think about what we don’t or could have.

I couldn’t be more proud of you than in that moment. The rest of your ACTIONS (not just your words) through out the day and night only proved that you were choosing happiness over and over and over again.

It IS a choice. For some people I think it’s easier and feels safer to grab on to anything negative and just live in that space. It’s not that easy for those people or the people they create to choose joy. Let’s not forget you are a surgeon and your job is stressful! You worry about outcomes and patients happiness all the time! I can’t even imagine carrying that weight on me every day! I am not cut out for it. But today you were floating above all that, all of it and just focusing on what we have now (not what we need to make or do) and who we are now (not what we need to become) and the family we have created (not what we need to grow to be) and you chose joy.

This is what I want our daughter to learn from- parents who choose joy always and no matter what the situation. We will teach Aviva this together. We must be her examples of love and life. We must rise above what we’ve been programmed to be or what society tells us we should care about and just care about happiness.

Thank you for choosing happiness today. Thank you for talking about your choice. But mostly, thank you for choosing me. Thank you for choosing me every day and for joining in my choice too, which is to be, happy with you.

Always and in love- Me