This is the song that immediately came into my mind when we found out the sex of our baby! Then I found myself in pilates class a couple days later only to have it come on in my instructor’s playlist. I’m pretty sure I was doing squats on the reformer using some serious inner thigh and core control when the song came on. All of a sudden I started smiling like a total weirdo (everyone else looked pained by the squatting). The song immediately took me out of my physical body and into some dream fantasy world where I was doing this work out with my little girl and then I was teaching her how to dance and we were doing some kind of free form modern ballet thing in the living room together, laughing and having the best time. Then I was in the kitchen with her and she was helping me cook and learning from my no recipe free form creative style of cooking. Then we were walking hand in hand on the beach, talking about what was going on at school and with her life, she was looking to me for advice and I was able to take from my own life experiences to help her. And then…
The music switched to something else and we got to stop squatting. You’d think I’d snap back into my body but nope…for the duration of the class I felt like my work out was with someone else and I was taking care of her too not just of my own body. I felt like we shared something special and unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life. The names my husband and I have been toying around with all floated in and out of my ethereal state. What will she look like? What will her laugh sound like? Will she like fashion and girlie things or be the opposite of her mom and be sporty? Will she take after me and become a dancer? Will she take after her dad and become a scientist? A doctor? Will she like to draw and paint like me or be a musician like her father? Will she like boys or girls? Will she like to cook with me? Will she like to be in nature or prefer the city? Will she get the travel bug like both of us? And of course, everyone is making bets on will she have curls or not? Will she have blonde, brunette or even red (it’s in the genetic pool) hair? Will she get the blue eyes or will they be darker? Will she be tall like us? All legs like her mom? Will she be shy or not? Will she love to snuggle like we do?
As the days have gone on knowing we’re having a girl, I’ve been thinking…
Will she be brave? Will she be strong? Will she be emotionally intelligent? Will she be proud? Will she be compassionate? Will she know how to love unconditionally? Will she be able to receive love with out fear? Will she be kind, gentle, nurturing? Will she be outspoken and stand up for what she believes in? Will she care for humanity and be gracious? Will she know her own strength of character, mind and body and feel grounded in that? Will she have love of self and self worth for what is inside her? Will she be passionate about life and love, all the world offers up to her? Will she create joy in her life? Will she take risks while striving for happiness? Will she be able to feel sexy for other reasons than her physical beauty? Will she approach life in a positive way? Will she find what she loves, what makes her happy and go for it no matter what?
Will she know she is loved with all my heart, soul, every ounce of my being, even now, and for always, no matter what?
So many of these answers I can’t wait to find out and only time will tell. Others, are in my husband’s and my hands as we set her foundation from the moment she enters this world. I can’t wait to meet her and show her love and ya, how to dance around the house to great music with out a care in the world!
We’re having a girl. Watch out world!
(And THIS is what my husband has been singing around the house since we found out…)